To show you how fair and just trescarlota and I really are (try not to choke on laughter), I am filling out the application myself. Wonderous.
1. YOUR MIDDLE NAME. Alexa.
2. PARENTS' MIDDLE NAMES. Maibel & Alan. You guess to whom they belong.
3. MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME. Cruz.
4. FAVORITE NUMBER. 23!
5. PET'S NAME. If you don't have a pet, you're NOT IN. LAZER.
6. FAVORITE BRAND OF PAPER TOWEL. Bouuntyyy.
7. SUPER SEKRIT CODE NAME. SHANIQUA.
8. ARE YOU MISSING ANY LIMBS? Non.
9. WHEN DID YOU FIRST GET YOUR PERIOD? If it was after your 14th birthday, SCREW YOU. Summer before 6th grade. TMI, TMI!
10. IF YOU ARE MALE, FIRST ERECTION? Was it in class? If it was, SCREW YOU. Last night.
11. Are you a virgin? If so, AHAHHAA. AHAHAH.
12. Have you ever considered selling semen/eggs for money? Both, actually.
13. If so, how much money? $100. I'M EASY.
14. Would you pose for Playboy(/Girl) for money? FOR FREE? Yes & yes.
15. Do you ever stick wrappers in the couch cushions because you are too lazy to get up? I do. Same with remotes.
16. Have you worn a thong in the past month? Males, this question applies to you too. Not in the past month. Glow-in-the-dark boxers, though, yes.
17. Have you ever eaten so many Peeps you later threw up? No, but trescarlota did...
18. Have you ever shaved off your eyebrow accidentally? Yes. It was traumatic.
19. Can you put Chapstick on while moving? If so, explain how. I can, but Carly CAN'T.
20. Describe, in detail, your daily bathroom ritual. This WILL be judged. Maybe later.
21. The must ludicrous thing your parents have ever told you. That Santa Claus existed. WHAT A RUSE.
22. Have you ever been in a legitimate "yo mama!" fight? Twice.
23. Tell us something extraordinarily important concerning rabbits. "Is it my imagination or do we have substantially more rabbits in this house today?"
24. As a final attempt in entering this club, you must post a picture. Of anything. Obscene, or not. Make it good. Resistance is futile.